And another one.....

The bittersweetness of my life <3

So I’m at a “house party ” and it is so wack. Music is ok but its literally my two girls and I with these wack ass people , and its only four or three of them I think…haha .well there goes my saturday night.

I enjoy the snow just as much as the next adolescent. It’s white fluffy texture melting at the touch, imprinting images as you walk and play in it. But, Im getting a little tired of the snow messing with my hours at work. I need money, in order to get that I must work a lot, to do so I need lots of hours. You can see my dilema. So I decided to write a little to my friend….Snow.

   Dear snow,

  I love every thing about you. The memories I’ve had, and the memories that you will bring in the future. Your smell, your taste, your purity. But this season I feel our little affair is coming to an end. I love you, see you next time. You will always be in my thoughts.

       Forever yours,

                      A.

   I’m in love, yes there I’ve said it. Admitting it would make you think it’s easier, but on the contrary it just makes thing’s more diffucult and confusing. The love of my life, my father meant everything to me. He inspired me to do well, be on my best behavior,pushed me to shine light on my talents at such a young age…he was my muse. He died when I was four years old, leaving my sister and I.

   Though my sister used the negative situation that had happened to us to fuel her energy towards her successes, I was not as smart to do so. The demise of my muse, left me (and still at times) leaves me questioning, myself, my talents, and my future. I knew it was something within myself because my sister seemed fine, and pieces just seemed to fall into place for her. While for myself, I felt lost, alone and to sum it up in a clutter of messy disorganized thoughts. I constantly found myself looking for help tunning into my, dare I say, inner artist. In my journey I’ve met tons of people that have peeled away the layers to get to the core of me, unlocking things I never knew I could do, or face. I thank these people, you know who you are. 

    Well as I said I am in love, and my beloved is in love with me. I am blissfully happy with him, and he believes and supports me in everything I do. Trust me it took me a long time to get to the state of happiness I am at today, especially given the obstacles I have faced, but I did it. Now you must be thinking, ‘well where does the question in the title come into play?”. You see, the muse I lost years ago never really left, and thats the difference between my sister and I, I was just to young and mislead to realize. So I still keep him in my heart, but now I have a new muse, my beloved amor.He whom I spend my days thinking about, afternoons laughing with, and evenings laying embraced with, my every moment is a mused. And yes he inspires me, and makes me believe, and is a muse, but can this in fact be the very thing to muse’ demise???Can the muse fade? Loves abyss has in fact taken me in and has mentally blocked me to be inspired by my inspiration.                     

I wake up and go about my morning getting ready for work as I usually do when I get a call from my shift supervisor warning me, “……do not take the main road to work because there is crazy traffic, so find another way”. Of course I keep this in mind to tell my beloved boyfriend, so we dont get stuck in traffic to make us late. What happens when beloved comes….he DOES NOT listen to the warning and proceeds to take the normal route thinking I was trying to punk him or something. As you can imagine this “domino effect” caused us to be forced to re-route ourselves, get stuck in a big traffic jam, and the cherry on the cake, have him and I late for our responsiblities. This situation then caused me to sing along to my own version of each and every song that came up on the radio to relate to my beloved not listening to me and making me late to work…Like the classic “turn around cuz you didnt want to listen, so Im now late, cuz you stupid and you went the wrong way”-by:me(inspired by the song by Bobby Valentino “turn around”) Simple question why do guys just not listen to woman? We are mostly right and you all know it, but hate to admit it. When I finally get to work, it’s super slow and a weirdo walks in. Now this isn’t your normal “I think aliens took over my braind’ werido. This is like the “I’m going to kill you if you mess my drink order up” weirdo. First off, this customer comes in at least once a day and every barista greets him and he replies in a very monotone way “fantastic’…like who says fantastic monotonely<-(lol). Then the customer orders his Venti soy no whip mocha, proceeds to the hand-off bar and watches the barista, but with a blank facial expression, as if he is contemplating some devious plan. I am convinced he is a paid assassin, my proof, he drives a porsche. Case closed. So if your a barista my advice, always make your drinks correctly because you never know who’s a real  crazy.Bye :D